practice.. 2023 Jul 30 Sun.. new songs

8am.. early breakfast
Well. earlier than normal for me. It was at McD's for the first time in a while. Nothing much happened there.

noon.. Soul movie
Disney put out a little animated show called Soul about a jazz pianist who refused to die and then talked a new soul into trying out Earth. I've seen it a few times now. Today I got that there might not be any more purpose in life than to just live it. Every time I put meaning into a thing or try to base my worth on a thing, I end up disappointing myself or others. I'm happier when I just do things and somehow just love doing them. When I tell a story that I know and love, I can just relax into it and disappear. When I try to push a message or I'm worried about how the audience is reacting, I stumble and flounder. The movie and my recent experience is in music. When I just play, I almost can't mess up. When I worry that I'm trying something new, I flounder. When I just vibe with life, I'm happy.

The other thing I got from the movie was just from the closing song.. It's Alright, by Jon Batiste. "It's alright. Have a good time, because it's alright." I think it's the same message as above. I can just do my thing and I'm entirely allowed to enjoy it. I don't always have to be worried that this is the right thing. I steal my own joy of doing anything by keeping part of me looking for something better or even judging whether I'm supposed to be happy doing this thing I chose.

3pm.. practice..
I played the harmonica along with It's Alright a few times, then tried it along with Don't Worry Be Happy, as well. I'm feeling better about letting myself dive into stuff. There are still plenty of days and things when I'm scared to let go. I think it's when I have high expectations and I find or judge myself to be lacking. Really, though, I'm always just in the middle of the ride, which is the best part of the ride. bleh.. I don't know.. haha!